It's now August 2021. Lizzy has been gone for almost 16 months and I still miss her a lot. I also lost my lovely Dad in November 2020 - he was aged 96 but still as bright as a button mentally. I know that practically everyone has lost someone during these horrendous times but that doesn't make it any easier. I'm trying not to lose myself to grief and anxiety but I do feel fairly lost. There's a new track by Jake Bugg doing the rounds - "Lost" -  and I keep singing it to myself.

Suddenly, I see you everywhere

You're always in my head

Never been so lost

Talk to me, it's like you're never there

It's like you never care 

That I've been so lost 

That I've been so lost

I'm also seeing someone - a counsellor - second session this afternoon. First session last week and just talking about my overall situation has started to help. I don't want to spell out the entire story of my life here as it wouldn't be fair on other still living people. I'm hoping the counselling will help me see a path through - maybe a path I haven't even considered before. Whatever happens, I'm glad I've worked out how to access this blog again. It was a big help to me back in the 2000s when my life changed quite considerably. Change is difficult but sometimes it's what is needed - radical change.

I thought I'd lost this blog for good but have finally figured out how to get back into it, a mere 9 plus years after my last post.It's an intersting historical document now. My lovely friend and partner in crime Lizzy B died almost one year ago, on 26 April 2020. I miss her everyday but am so glad we got to do so many fabulous things together, most of which are chronicled here. Life definitely isn't a rehearsal. RIP Lizzy xxx