Tone

Our good friend Tone has been round this evening. We've known Tone since he was 22 when he started teaching with Keith straight from his PGCE year - Tone is now 50, I am 52 and Keith 55 i.e. 28 years ago. Both Keith and Tone have been teaching at the same school all of the intervening years, although regular readers will know that Keith has been away from work suffering from anxiety and depression since Christmas.

Tone was single until he was in his late 30s - he then met "I", who is the same age as Keith and was married at the time. They subsequently started an affair, "I "then left her husband and she and Tone were married about 6 years ago

A couple of months ago Tone came around to see us to say that he and "I" were separating temporarily and that he had moved into a rented house - things weren't going too well between them. We've seen him quite a lot since then as things have been quite hard for him. We went round to his rented house last Sunday and watched the World Cup final with some other friends and Tone gave us a great meal. Walking home, the friends told us the real story - "I" had been reunited, via her work, with a childhood sweetheart and had decided she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Goodbye Tone.

The whole situation has cut me up like a knife to the heart. When we first knew Tone, he was about the age our son Jim is now. He's been a model husband as far as I can tell, and has been the best father that "I"'s two daughters, now in their 20s, have ever had. I feel angry and upset in equal parts and I don't really know why I have such a depth of feeling. Loyalty and trust are important to me I suppose. I feel very protective towards Tone, possibly the feeling being magnified because I've needed to care for Keith so extensively since he has been ill. Also Jim is back home at the moment and needs some TLC, and likes to talk things through with me.

For someone who reckons they're not very emotional, its all a bit near the bone...

Hey ho